Top 5 Worst Songs of 2012
While this is far from the worst year in
music history, it was far from slim pickings as far as bad music goes, be it
from the damn Cash Money crowd, painfully boring indie rock, or the ever looming
at-first-it-was-kind-of-funny-but-now-it's-just-getting-sad reign of Gangnam
Style. Here are the Top 5 Worst Songs of 2012:
5.Drunk-Ed Sheeran
While this is far from the worst indie guitar song
I've ever heard, all this song evokes in my mind is a lazier Hey There Delilah,
only written even more clumsily. And when he's not nearly ruining wonderful
songs at the London Olympics, have you ever seen an interview with him? He is an
incredibly dull person, fitting well with his horrifically dull range, all
performed along to dreary acoustic guitar. This is not to say I am against slow
music per se, but the monotonous chorus is so boring, you'd think you were
listening to country music. Avoid.
4.Gangnam Style-Psy
This is actually a lot higher on my list than I
pre-empted because for a while, I actually really liked this song. I thought the
video was clever, the rapping was good. How wrong was I. How could I not see how
stupid the video was, how obvious the music was, how really the lyrics were
incredibly classy, describing the huge cost of living in South Korea. How could
I not see that all this song was is a Korean version of LMFAO's detestable Party
Rock Anthem. And it is not just the music that annoys me about this, it is the
fan base. Just go on the comments of the video on YouTube, you will know what I
mean.
3.Drive By-Train
Oh why, Train? You started off
decent, why couldn't you simply fade into the obscurity that we hope most adult
alternative bands went, like Joanna Newsom or The Plain White T's? Why did you
persist in making crappy hit after crappy hit. Train started off well enough,
and I am more forgiving of Hey Soul Sister than most. But this song, with a
horrific rhyme scheme, really disturbing concept (how romantic, comparing your
love to shooting someone), and the ever-annoying vocals of Patrick Monahan. The
weird pop culture references are a taste that Monahan is fond of (Mister Mister?
Hefty bags?), but they are getting old, and Train need to end.
2.Stupid Hoe-Nicki Minaj
Nicki Minaj. How? How could you produce such a
repugnant, ugly, annoying, tuneless evil as this song. Yes, I know it is a
response to that awful Lil' Kim diss track Black Friday, but why would you try
try to match the evil that was that song so far that it is one of the worst
things to come out of a human mouth since Hitler's speeches? Not only is the
song grossly repetitive and horrendously nonsensical, it is straight up evil.
Evil. But yet it is only number 2 on this list. Now you ask, what could be
possibly worse than this horrifying abomination?
1.Dance (A$$)- Big Sean feat. Nicki Minaj
Now technically, I'm cheating because this only came out late last year, but only started gaining notoriety in the UK in early 2012. Let me put this straight. This is the worst song I have ever heard. Worse than anything on this list, even Stupid Hoe, even Hot Problems. Friday is Madonna compared to this song. The monotonous flow of Big Sean, the misogynist theme, some of the worst lyrics to a song ever (Kiss my ass and my anus) and the horror of Nicki Minaj's verse, who is actually on the song more than Big Sean. As for Big Sean, clearly the only adjectives he could ever come up with to describe the movement of the aforementioned A$$ were (Wobbly, wobbly). At least Stupid Hoe was interestingly awful. This isn't even worth looking at, let alone listening to. This is musical napalm. This is what life is like if you are miserable. Actually, I go back on what I said. Please listen to it. Experience my rage, but be prepared.
5.Drunk-Ed Sheeran
While this is far from the worst indie guitar song
I've ever heard, all this song evokes in my mind is a lazier Hey There Delilah,
only written even more clumsily. And when he's not nearly ruining wonderful
songs at the London Olympics, have you ever seen an interview with him? He is an
incredibly dull person, fitting well with his horrifically dull range, all
performed along to dreary acoustic guitar. This is not to say I am against slow
music per se, but the monotonous chorus is so boring, you'd think you were
listening to country music. Avoid.4.Gangnam Style-Psy
This is actually a lot higher on my list than I
pre-empted because for a while, I actually really liked this song. I thought the
video was clever, the rapping was good. How wrong was I. How could I not see how
stupid the video was, how obvious the music was, how really the lyrics were
incredibly classy, describing the huge cost of living in South Korea. How could
I not see that all this song was is a Korean version of LMFAO's detestable Party
Rock Anthem. And it is not just the music that annoys me about this, it is the
fan base. Just go on the comments of the video on YouTube, you will know what I
mean.3.Drive By-Train
Oh why, Train? You started off
decent, why couldn't you simply fade into the obscurity that we hope most adult
alternative bands went, like Joanna Newsom or The Plain White T's? Why did you
persist in making crappy hit after crappy hit. Train started off well enough,
and I am more forgiving of Hey Soul Sister than most. But this song, with a
horrific rhyme scheme, really disturbing concept (how romantic, comparing your
love to shooting someone), and the ever-annoying vocals of Patrick Monahan. The
weird pop culture references are a taste that Monahan is fond of (Mister Mister?
Hefty bags?), but they are getting old, and Train need to end.2.Stupid Hoe-Nicki Minaj
Nicki Minaj. How? How could you produce such a
repugnant, ugly, annoying, tuneless evil as this song. Yes, I know it is a
response to that awful Lil' Kim diss track Black Friday, but why would you try
try to match the evil that was that song so far that it is one of the worst
things to come out of a human mouth since Hitler's speeches? Not only is the
song grossly repetitive and horrendously nonsensical, it is straight up evil.
Evil. But yet it is only number 2 on this list. Now you ask, what could be
possibly worse than this horrifying abomination?1.Dance (A$$)- Big Sean feat. Nicki Minaj
Now technically, I'm cheating because this only came out late last year, but only started gaining notoriety in the UK in early 2012. Let me put this straight. This is the worst song I have ever heard. Worse than anything on this list, even Stupid Hoe, even Hot Problems. Friday is Madonna compared to this song. The monotonous flow of Big Sean, the misogynist theme, some of the worst lyrics to a song ever (Kiss my ass and my anus) and the horror of Nicki Minaj's verse, who is actually on the song more than Big Sean. As for Big Sean, clearly the only adjectives he could ever come up with to describe the movement of the aforementioned A$$ were (Wobbly, wobbly). At least Stupid Hoe was interestingly awful. This isn't even worth looking at, let alone listening to. This is musical napalm. This is what life is like if you are miserable. Actually, I go back on what I said. Please listen to it. Experience my rage, but be prepared.
MT
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