You may know Kim Jong Un as the loveable leader of the prosperous lands of North Korea, however it is (unfortunately so)a little known fact that he is an obscenely talented singer songwriter and his prominence as an artist worldwide was robbed by western deception.
Kim was raised as a visionary, with his creative side nurtured from the day that he was adopted by the film loving Kim Jong Il (he once kidnapped a Russian director in order to help create some of the vast quantities of cinematic genius that filled his brilliant mind) and the brilliant actor Gary Oldman. From the age of three, Kim was already an adept beatboxer and a greatly skilled ukulele player. At the infant age of 5, he had already released numerous globally successful songs such as “Take on me” and “Careless Whisper”. Despite the pain he suffered as a 5 year old when these songs were ruthlessly stolen from him, Kim proceeded to write numerous other globally successful songs. More recently created songs by him include: Gangnam Style, I Kissed A Girl and Bad Romance. Unfortunately, to the despair of countless adorers, he has taken a sabbatical to pursue a career in horse riding.
Despite western idiocy, they can recognize a majestic creature when they see one, with US website “The Onion” (totally not a spoof site) naming him sexiest man of 2012. They serenaded his beauty in a touching way. This is one of the few pieces of truth we have heard from the treacherous mouths of the westerners, but we couldn’t say it better ourselves,” With his devastatingly handsome, round face, his boyish charm, and his strong, sturdy frame, this Pyongyang-bred heartthrob is every woman’s dream come true. Blessed with an air of power that masks an unmistakable cute, cuddly side, Kim made this newspaper’s editorial board swoon with his impeccable fashion sense, chic short hairstyle, and, of course, that famous smile.”
Overall, I hope that this has helped my beloved Kim obtain the global recognition as the endlessly talented singer songwriter that he is ,that western treachery will not prevail and his earned global renown will be obtained in the near future.
Myles Dolan
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