Reviewer Cooks...Calamari

 Though it is true there is nothing I relish more than diving into a huge plate of calamari, it is a real tricky one to cook. Often the squid is rubbery and chewy as an elastic band, and the coating for me at least, needs to be devilishly crunchy but not taking away from the subtle nature of the squid. And while I find that it is truly hard to beat the Italian fritto misto with a huge pot of garlicky mayo and a squeeze of lemon, I attempted at trying such a task in my huge and terribly designed deep fat fryer which is sandwiched in our cluttered cooking cupboard.
Finding a place that will do squid is a challenge in itself. I opt for the slender prepared tubes Waitrose offer, while less fun to prepare, are quicker and better for a Sunday night supper. As advised by The Guardian, I soak the squid in milk, to add tenderness, supposedly, although for me there is no noticeable difference. I have heard something about covering it in mashed up kiwi, although I have yet to try this method. So one I cut the tubes into more elegant, though quite thick rings, I try some different coatings.
Again, as suggested by The Guardian, I do a mix of plain and corn flour, then I do plain flour on its own, and with cornmeal mixed in. All of these seem to work, but the sogginess of just plain flour, and the slight powderiness of corn and plain flour leaves the more crispy cornmeal, which has more flavour and just the right heaviness needed. I'm still in need of crispy however, so it will have to wait.
First batch comes out of our ever so unreliable fryer and the coating is golden, but the squid is disappointingly chewy. As suggested, I fry it more, but this burns it to a crisp, and the offending squid is binned. I make a ruling that undercooked is better than overcooked and I fry the rest of the squid until the cornmeal goes slightly darker than the flour. This seems to do the trick, and I end up with a huge mound of it. And while it doesn't match the Italian perfection of a dish, I'm getting there.

My Calamari Recipe

Ing.
500g squid tubes (tentacles if you want)
1/2 tsp salt
1/2 tsp pepper
4 tbsp plain flour
2 tbsp cornflour
1 1/2 tbsp cornmeal (polenta)
375 ml milk
Oil for frying

1. Pour the milk into a bowl. Slice the squid into rings and save a few for traingles, then add them to the milk. leave for as long as you've got.

2. Stir together the flour, cornmeal, salt and pepper.

3. Take the squid out of the milk and coat in the flour dusting.

4. Fry the squid until there are small gold dots on the calamari. Drain on paper towels and serve with lemon and a garlic mayo. Enjoy!

MT

http://theyoungchefcooks.blogspot.co.uk/

Reviewer Plays...Fifa 13 Ultimate Team...Getting Started

So, I presume that if you've clicked on this post, you are interested in, or already interested in, Fifa Ultimate Team. But I've got to presume that you're new to the game, so here is how you should get started in the game.

Step 1: Play Some Matches

The easiest way to get coins is by playing some matches with the Bronze players you get in your starter pack. I would recommend playing in the Bronze Cup to begin with, as I doubt your team will be good enough to compete against Gold teams you will face in Seasons.

Step 2: Dream Up A Squad

Once you've managed to build up enough coins to start developing your Bronze team whatever dream team you chose to make. Be aware that Chemistry-the links between players does matter. Players have a high Chemistry when they are playing in the position and formation specified on their card. You can also gain Chemistry for your team by having players from the same league or nation in a team. If you are stuck for ideas, I would recommend using videos by YouTubers such as HarryRox23 or Toby Leighton. Leighton makes especially good videos, and does lots of squad builders which are under 10k. I also plan to do some squad builders on this blog, so keep your eyes open. And if you're feeling original, Futhead's Squad Creator is a great tool to give you ideas of how much Chemistry your team will have.

Step 3: Buy Your Players

Before you buy your team, find out how much the players you are looking for go for on average at the Ultimate Database. I NEVER buy a player before consulting the website, and it is also a great tool for trading. Again, you can find trading videos on YouTube, but I am currently writing a Trading Guide, so again, keep checking this site.

Step 4: Sign Up Your Staff

The next step in creating your Ultimate Team is to get a Manager. In order to get more Chemistry, pick a gaffer from the same nation and formation as your team.

Step 5:Play!

The next step is to play with your Ultimate Team. There are many different ways to play, which ensures that the game never gets boring. By playing in Tournaments, you can earn packs as well as coins if you win. Whereas in Seasons, you can fight to get your team to Division 1, and maybe even win it.

I hope this guide helped you. As I said, I plan to post trading guides and squad builders too. Subscribe so that you don't miss any of the action! And if you play Ultimate Team and would like to write for the blog, please let us know.

Reviewer Reviews...New Band Recommendations No.3

FIDLAR
Fidlar are a band from California, USA. Their name stands for the skateboarding term, Fuck It Dog, Life's A Risk. So I'm sure you can already tell that the band are quite crass, to say the least. With song titles like 'Cheap Beer', or 'Crackhead Ted', and dedicating live songs to,'Everyone who's high out there', you would not be mistaken in believing the band are on the ruder side of the garage rock scene. However, the band, who site influences as Blink-182 and Green Day, have an interesting live or die attitude which is reflected in their music- unfortunately leading to sameness and loud and often ugly music. My favourite Fidlar song is 'No Waves', which perfect sums up their whole attitude to life. Their music videos are also interesting, and very Ninties. If you're still not convinced, download their 'Shit We Recorded In Our Bedroom' EP here for free. Their debut album comes out on January 22, and I for one will be buying.

Swim Deep
Like bezzies Peace, Swim Deep have emerged from the B-town scene in Birmingham, UK. The slack/skater genre is rapidly growing in popularity recently, and Swim Deep have certainly tapped into that market. I was really excited about this band after hearing their first song King City, and it's B-Side Beach Justice. I liked the dark undertow to the two songs, but I find their newer, more upbeat material quite boring. Nevertheless, I firmly recommend you check out King City, and it's aforementioned B-Side, Beach Justice.

Reviewer Reviews... Life of Pi-A Film Review

Life of Pi

Ang Lee, along with Tarsem and James Cameron, are often directors that suffer from a style over substance view of film-making  with Tarsem's visual masterpieces The Cell and The Fall, Cameron's Avatar or even Lee's frustrating Hulk. However, all have had wonderful films, and with Brokeback Mountain, Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon, and Lust, Caution under his belt, Lee is most probably the most talented out of these directors, and while it could be argued that Life Of Pi is his weakest film (a flimsy narrative, excessive symbolism) It sure looks absolutely stunning.
    Following the wise words of Roger Ebert, who, like me, cannot stand 3-D and who raved about the 3-D, I saw it on the biggest, dumbest screen I could; Vue Westfield. And Ebert was right. I don't think I have ever seen better use of 3-D in a theatrical release. It is not distracting, not headachey and just looks wonderful. I am proud I paid the £1 extra.
    And that brings us to the main thread of the film: the visuals. They are stunning. Again, I don't think I have seen more stunning visuals since The Tree Of Life or The Fall. As the second and third act are all set on a boat in the middle of the ocean, Lee takes full advantage of the visual potential as possible. A scene on a deserted island is a definate hilight, and while the animals are not always convincing, they do look disturbingly genuine almost always, especially hundreds of meerkats in a very memorable scene.
    And this brings us to the main problem with this film. Just the visuals alone would get it a 10 out of 10, but there are problems. The film starts off in sunny India, where young Pi embarks on a spiritual journey and wishes to be "Hindu, Muslim and Christian". He seems to be one of those kids that no one is, no one has been, or will be. Either way, he grows up in a zoo, but then has to move his family and animals to Canada, where they are shipwrecked, and he has to use a small lifeboat with a tiger as a home. And while this is not a very convincing premise, it is still exciting in the way that Up or Inception is exciting: ridiculous, but captivating enough to be forgiven for the silly premise.
    So that's Life Of Pi, and while this isn't the best film of the year, the visuals are good enough to put it on the top 10 list of 2012, and the fact that it is captivating like Inception means that it is well worth seeing. But only see it in the cinema for full effect. Please.

9/10

MT

Reviewer Reviews...The Best Films of 2012

My Favourite Films Of The Year

I'm not going to be that bastard who says 2012 was the best or worst year for film, because, let's face it, 2012 was neither of these. It was however, a very slow start especially in the first half of the year, which was followed up baby a huge array of brilliant films. So here it is, my favourite films of 2012.

10. The Muppets
I know this is kind of an odd choice, but when as film is this damn happy, it is quite simply irresistible. Directed by Flight Of The Conchords veteran James Bobin, and featuring three writing of Bret McKenzie, whose ebullient songs are perfect for the source material, this joy of a film features all the gang in a tongue in cheek 'the theatre's going to close, let's do a fundraiser!'. And while the film itself is smart enough to overcome this dumb proposal, it is funny, self referential and takes itself seriously in places it needs to.

9. The Descendants
George Clooney has never been better than in his tour de force as a man thrown in a situation he doesn't know how to handle, being burdened with an unfaithful, terminally ill wife, and two sharp as nails daughters. And while it sometimes wobbles on the tightrope of schmaltz, it almost always succeeds in its intended goal, making you laugh and cry simultaneously.

8. Beasts Of The Southern Wild
I think most of us can agree that one of the best feelings is surprise, and I was truly surprised, in a good way. Having gone into this film having known very little about it, then to be blown away by a sudden rush of wonderful filmmaking and acting, especially from the wonderful Quenzhane Williams. I doubt if she will win Best Actress at the Oscars, but I think she is really the one who deserves it most. I can't really describe it, just see it.

7. Skyfall
I had originally disowned the whole Bond franchise, after a few mediocre Pierce Brosnan vehicles, but that opinion was quickly dropped after the Daniel Craig movies, all of which I liked a lot (including Quantum of Solace, thank you very much), and Skyfall does not disappoint. Javier Bardem and Judi Dench are particularly good here, and it kicks ass to see London and Scotland being used, instead of the more foreign locations, making this feel close to home. Sam Mendes deserves a cookie for his stunning direction too. All stand for that stunning song, the best since You Only Live Twice.

6. Life Of Pi
With the visually stunning Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon under Ang Lee's belt, he is a perfect choice for that supposedly unfilmable book. And by God, does it deliver. These are some of the most stunning visuals I have ever seen, and though the acting can be weak at times, and the symbolism is annoying, that is all forgiven for the sheer scope of some of the scenes. But for the love of God, see this on a huge screen.

5. Moonrise Kingdom
If Ang Lee is a HD tv, impressing you with it's huge scope, Moonrise Kingdom is a Polaroid camera, with lower quality image, and a faded view, but with bucket loads of charm, sardonic wit, and tender poignancy. Telling the fable of two kids who run away from home and their small town's attempts to find them, it is typical Anderson fare, delivering wonderful performances, occasionally dark humour, and the viewpoint from the beyond his years little boy protagonist. Whimsy at its classiest.

4. The Dark Knight Rises
I am putting it out there, Christopher Nolan is one of the best directors of our generation. He has never done a bad film. Even Following, his weakest picture is a masterpiece in its own right. And his brain conclusion to his perfect Batman series is just what we hoped for, clever, disturbing, funny and surprisingly heavy for a superhero film. Marion Cotillard gives an enjoyable nuanced performance, where Joseph Gordon Levitt is surprisingly intense and focused. The central focus is Bane, who may be my favourite Batman villain.

3. Samsara
All of the other films on this list are plot driven, heavily based on the characters and what they do. Samsara has no plot, no focus or really any characters. It is a swaying visual masterpiece, taking us on an adventure of all cultures, the wide eyed beauty of Indian dancing, the surprising melancholy of the transgender Thai prostitutes, or even the terrifying performance art scene. Like the equally masterful Baraka, we get those stunning time lapse shots of the sky, the Chinese factories, everything. It all ends on the Buddhist monks creating those lovely sand paintings, admiring them for a moment, than scooping up the sand. Interpret that what you will.

2. Tie-Amour/Shame
I am tying these two films together because they are very similar in my eye. The direction is static, smooth, the plot about getting over an illness and failing, or even the twinning of both films being set in an isolating universe. Michael Fassbender gives a heartbreaking performance that sheds new light of the so often mocked sex addiction condition. Is he homosexual? Straight? He may even be asexual for all we know. He is simply addicted to the orgasm, nothing else. In Amour, Georges has a similarly tortuous job caring for his ill wife, who starts well, slowly receding through time, with only the audience and Georges understanding the pain of old age, and the gradual loss of a loved one. So brilliant.

1. The Master
Yeah, you all saw this coming. I can't help it, this film really changed my views on cults, their leaders and how they work. Both Philip Seymour Hoffman and Joaquin Phoenix give unbelievable performances as two very broken, disturbed people who find solace in each other, but in a horrible way, and the way they work off each other is quite scary, but representing such a dark truth that lingers inside us. Anderson's direction is very astute, and it looks fantastic. They just didn't fuck up in any way.  See it for an interesting night out.

Reviewer Reviews...Uncle Boonmee Who Can Recall His Past Lives-A Film Review

Uncle Boonmee Who Can Recall His Past Lives

This is an masterpiece of cinema. One of the greatest foreign films of all time, up there with Herzehog's Even Dwarfs Started Small, Resnais' Hiroshima Mon Amour, and Haneke's Funny Games. A film so incredible and so mesmerising, you'll want to talk about it and discuss it over and over again. The plot? Boonmee is dying of kidney failure and goes to his isolated farm, where he thinks his past souls and lives thrives. Along with him he takes his sister-in-law Jen, and his nephew, Tong. During supper one night, things get weird. His dead wife appears as a ghost and his son, Boonsong arrives in form as a Monkey Ghost, with marvellously iconic glowing red eyes (He is already a hipster icon). As his final days drift on, we get one of his past lives as an ugly princess, who has sex with a catfish, shown to us in almost comical form. Why is this film a masterpiece, you ask? As soon as the film starts, I am completely and utterly hooked. The delicate nature of the film makes you buy how strange many of the scenes are, and all the conversations are utterly believable. Litterally every line is perfect, and every shot could be hung up on a wall with great pride. Not hard to follow and strangely beautiful, this is a film everyone, everywhere should see.

10/10

Reviewer Reviews...The Top (or bottom) 5 Worst Songs of 2012

Top 5 Worst Songs of 2012

While this is far from the worst year in music history, it was far from slim pickings as far as bad music goes, be it from the damn Cash Money crowd, painfully boring indie rock, or the ever looming at-first-it-was-kind-of-funny-but-now-it's-just-getting-sad reign of Gangnam Style. Here are the Top 5 Worst Songs of 2012:

5.Drunk-Ed Sheeran

While this is far from the worst indie guitar song I've ever heard, all this song evokes in my mind is a lazier Hey There Delilah, only written even more clumsily. And when he's not nearly ruining wonderful songs at the London Olympics, have you ever seen an interview with him? He is an incredibly dull person, fitting well with his horrifically dull range, all performed along to dreary acoustic guitar. This is not to say I am against slow music per se, but the monotonous chorus is so boring, you'd think you were listening to country music. Avoid.

4.Gangnam Style-Psy

This is actually a lot higher on my list than I pre-empted because for a while, I actually really liked this song. I thought the video was clever, the rapping was good. How wrong was I. How could I not see how stupid the video was, how obvious the music was, how really the lyrics were incredibly classy, describing the huge cost of living in South Korea. How could I not see that all this song was is a Korean version of LMFAO's detestable Party Rock Anthem. And it is not just the music that annoys me about this, it is the fan base. Just go on the comments of the video on YouTube, you will know what I mean.

3.Drive By-Train

Oh why, Train? You started off decent, why couldn't you simply fade into the obscurity that we hope most adult alternative bands went, like Joanna Newsom or The Plain White T's? Why did you persist in making crappy hit after crappy hit. Train started off well enough, and I am more forgiving of Hey Soul Sister than most. But this song, with a horrific rhyme scheme, really disturbing concept (how romantic, comparing your love to shooting someone), and the ever-annoying vocals of Patrick Monahan. The weird pop culture references are a taste that Monahan is fond of (Mister Mister? Hefty bags?), but they are getting old, and Train need to end.

2.Stupid Hoe-Nicki Minaj

Nicki Minaj. How? How could you produce such a repugnant, ugly, annoying, tuneless evil as this song. Yes, I know it is a response to that awful Lil' Kim diss track Black Friday, but why would you try try to match the evil that was that song so far that it is one of the worst things to come out of a human mouth since Hitler's speeches? Not only is the song grossly repetitive and horrendously nonsensical, it is straight up evil. Evil. But yet it is only number 2 on this list. Now you ask, what could be possibly worse than this horrifying abomination?




1.Dance (A$$)- Big Sean feat. Nicki Minaj


Now technically, I'm cheating because this only came out late last year, but only started gaining notoriety in the UK in early 2012. Let me put this straight. This is the worst song I have ever heard. Worse than anything on this list, even Stupid Hoe, even Hot Problems. Friday is Madonna compared to this song. The monotonous flow of Big Sean, the misogynist theme, some of the worst lyrics to a song ever (Kiss my ass and my anus) and the horror of Nicki Minaj's verse, who is actually on the song more than Big Sean. As for Big Sean, clearly the only adjectives he could ever come up with to describe the movement of the aforementioned A$$ were (Wobbly, wobbly). At least Stupid Hoe was interestingly awful. This isn't even worth looking at, let alone listening to. This is musical napalm. This is what life is like if you are miserable. Actually, I go back on what I said. Please listen to it. Experience my rage, but be prepared.

 

MT