Reviewer Reviews...Uncle Boonmee Who Can Recall His Past Lives-A Film Review

Uncle Boonmee Who Can Recall His Past Lives

This is an masterpiece of cinema. One of the greatest foreign films of all time, up there with Herzehog's Even Dwarfs Started Small, Resnais' Hiroshima Mon Amour, and Haneke's Funny Games. A film so incredible and so mesmerising, you'll want to talk about it and discuss it over and over again. The plot? Boonmee is dying of kidney failure and goes to his isolated farm, where he thinks his past souls and lives thrives. Along with him he takes his sister-in-law Jen, and his nephew, Tong. During supper one night, things get weird. His dead wife appears as a ghost and his son, Boonsong arrives in form as a Monkey Ghost, with marvellously iconic glowing red eyes (He is already a hipster icon). As his final days drift on, we get one of his past lives as an ugly princess, who has sex with a catfish, shown to us in almost comical form. Why is this film a masterpiece, you ask? As soon as the film starts, I am completely and utterly hooked. The delicate nature of the film makes you buy how strange many of the scenes are, and all the conversations are utterly believable. Litterally every line is perfect, and every shot could be hung up on a wall with great pride. Not hard to follow and strangely beautiful, this is a film everyone, everywhere should see.

10/10

Reviewer Reviews...The Top (or bottom) 5 Worst Songs of 2012

Top 5 Worst Songs of 2012

While this is far from the worst year in music history, it was far from slim pickings as far as bad music goes, be it from the damn Cash Money crowd, painfully boring indie rock, or the ever looming at-first-it-was-kind-of-funny-but-now-it's-just-getting-sad reign of Gangnam Style. Here are the Top 5 Worst Songs of 2012:

5.Drunk-Ed Sheeran

While this is far from the worst indie guitar song I've ever heard, all this song evokes in my mind is a lazier Hey There Delilah, only written even more clumsily. And when he's not nearly ruining wonderful songs at the London Olympics, have you ever seen an interview with him? He is an incredibly dull person, fitting well with his horrifically dull range, all performed along to dreary acoustic guitar. This is not to say I am against slow music per se, but the monotonous chorus is so boring, you'd think you were listening to country music. Avoid.

4.Gangnam Style-Psy

This is actually a lot higher on my list than I pre-empted because for a while, I actually really liked this song. I thought the video was clever, the rapping was good. How wrong was I. How could I not see how stupid the video was, how obvious the music was, how really the lyrics were incredibly classy, describing the huge cost of living in South Korea. How could I not see that all this song was is a Korean version of LMFAO's detestable Party Rock Anthem. And it is not just the music that annoys me about this, it is the fan base. Just go on the comments of the video on YouTube, you will know what I mean.

3.Drive By-Train

Oh why, Train? You started off decent, why couldn't you simply fade into the obscurity that we hope most adult alternative bands went, like Joanna Newsom or The Plain White T's? Why did you persist in making crappy hit after crappy hit. Train started off well enough, and I am more forgiving of Hey Soul Sister than most. But this song, with a horrific rhyme scheme, really disturbing concept (how romantic, comparing your love to shooting someone), and the ever-annoying vocals of Patrick Monahan. The weird pop culture references are a taste that Monahan is fond of (Mister Mister? Hefty bags?), but they are getting old, and Train need to end.

2.Stupid Hoe-Nicki Minaj

Nicki Minaj. How? How could you produce such a repugnant, ugly, annoying, tuneless evil as this song. Yes, I know it is a response to that awful Lil' Kim diss track Black Friday, but why would you try try to match the evil that was that song so far that it is one of the worst things to come out of a human mouth since Hitler's speeches? Not only is the song grossly repetitive and horrendously nonsensical, it is straight up evil. Evil. But yet it is only number 2 on this list. Now you ask, what could be possibly worse than this horrifying abomination?




1.Dance (A$$)- Big Sean feat. Nicki Minaj


Now technically, I'm cheating because this only came out late last year, but only started gaining notoriety in the UK in early 2012. Let me put this straight. This is the worst song I have ever heard. Worse than anything on this list, even Stupid Hoe, even Hot Problems. Friday is Madonna compared to this song. The monotonous flow of Big Sean, the misogynist theme, some of the worst lyrics to a song ever (Kiss my ass and my anus) and the horror of Nicki Minaj's verse, who is actually on the song more than Big Sean. As for Big Sean, clearly the only adjectives he could ever come up with to describe the movement of the aforementioned A$$ were (Wobbly, wobbly). At least Stupid Hoe was interestingly awful. This isn't even worth looking at, let alone listening to. This is musical napalm. This is what life is like if you are miserable. Actually, I go back on what I said. Please listen to it. Experience my rage, but be prepared.

 

MT

Reviewer Reviews...The Top 5 Songs of 2012

5) Tame Impala-Elephant

The first single from Tame Impala's album, Elephant has a retro and almost Doctor Who feel to it, which I really like. Also known as the 'song off the Made In Chelsea ad', it is a great song from a great album by the psychedelic Aussies.

4)Frank Ocean-Thinkin' Bout You

The centrepiece of the amazing Channel Orange, Thinkin' Bout You, a heartbreaking song about a lost love, and the potential of resuscitating something that ended a long time. The calm, syth-laden pace is stunning, and Ocean proves that he is a definate new talent. The song is so lovely that it even made Beyonce, queen of this type of ballad, cry when she first heard it. I can see where she is coming from. It is just a stunning, stunning song.

3)Palma Violets-Best of Friends

Palma Violets are the latest thing off the NME hype press. But unlike overhyped bands from the past(The Holloways, etc), I think that the Lambeth outfit are worthy of the hype, simply because, their music doesn't want to make do maths. It's catchy, and plain and simply makes you want to go out and get drunk. It's catchy and has been on repeat since it's release in late October. Roll on the album.

2)Grimes-Genesis

Genesis is a more gentle affair than her other great single Oblivion, with a harp and piano-propelled electronica backing with Boucher’s girl-like vocals falling in layers and settling over the top.
You get the feeling that in a parallel universe Boucher might have turned into a Rhianna-esque pop star, but luckily for us she’s continued to turn out tracks like this that are slightly more interesting and therefore acceptable for us indie types to enjoy without guilt. I know MT will disagree, but ‘Genesis’ is the kind of track that Bjork would be proud of.

1)M.I.A.-Bad Girls

We all know that M.I.A. is wonderful. Really wonderful. But I had no idea she could be this good. Adapted from a track on the irresistable VICKI LEEKX and going to be included on her much awaited Matangi, the wondeful yelling of (My chain hits my chest/When I'm banging on the dashboard) is irresistable catchy, and if all her songs sound like this on her new album, I will be a happy bunny. It is for this reason this stunning song is the best song of the year.

Reviewer Profiles...Kim Jong Un

You may know Kim Jong Un as the loveable leader of the prosperous lands of North Korea, however it is (unfortunately so)a little known fact that he is an obscenely talented singer songwriter and his prominence as an artist worldwide was robbed by western deception.
Kim was raised as a visionary, with his creative side nurtured from the day that he was adopted by the film loving Kim Jong Il (he once kidnapped a Russian director in order to help create some of the vast quantities of cinematic genius that filled his brilliant mind) and the brilliant actor Gary Oldman. From the age of three, Kim was already an adept beatboxer and a greatly skilled ukulele player. At the infant age of 5, he had already released numerous globally successful songs such as “Take on me” and “Careless Whisper”. Despite the pain he suffered as a 5 year old when these songs were ruthlessly stolen from him, Kim proceeded to write numerous other globally successful songs. More recently created songs by him include: Gangnam Style, I Kissed A Girl and Bad Romance. Unfortunately, to the despair of countless adorers, he has taken a sabbatical to pursue a career in horse riding.
Despite western idiocy, they can recognize a majestic creature when they see one, with US website “The Onion” (totally not a spoof site) naming him sexiest man of 2012. They serenaded his beauty in a touching way. This is one of the few pieces of truth we have heard from the treacherous mouths of the westerners, but we couldn’t say it better ourselves,” With his devastatingly handsome, round face, his boyish charm, and his strong, sturdy frame, this Pyongyang-bred heartthrob is every woman’s dream come true. Blessed with an air of power that masks an unmistakable cute, cuddly side, Kim made this newspaper’s editorial board swoon with his impeccable fashion sense, chic short hairstyle, and, of course, that famous smile.”
Overall, I hope that this has helped my beloved Kim obtain the global recognition as the endlessly talented singer songwriter that he is ,that western treachery will not prevail and his earned global renown will be obtained in the near future.

Myles Dolan

Greetings!

We have noticed a large amount of traffic from the US, so we want to hear from you guys! What British music is popular in the States? Are there any American bands not making a splash over here? Comment below!

Reviewer Reviews...Coexist-The xx-A Music Review

Something is happening. The xx are coming. Of course it was hardly difficult to see their songs fail, due to them being constantly played in just about anything over and over again (I'm looking at you, Waterloo Road). This can be forgiven due to their subtle, terrific debut xx, with one of the most brilliant marketing campaign's I saw that year. Now back on brilliant form, Oliver, Jamie and Romy are joining as a contender for one of the best albums this year. The crowning track is obviously Angels, where the quiet sorrow of Romy's voice flows over Jamie's distinctive synth. The repetition of love is chilling and so sad, and the music so perfect, It is an obvious choice for the best song on the album. But there is more. Chained is a fascinating choice for the somphore song on a sophmore album, but it fits surprisingly well and echoes some of their earlier work, such as the sombre Do You Mind? The bravest piece on the album is definitely Reunion, with the fantastic clatter of steel drums, obviously a nod to Jamie xx's solo album with Gil Scott Herron. Powerfully sad is Missing, Oliver Sim wailing (My Heart is beating/In a different way). Overall, this is a spectacular album, and a definite challenger for best album of the year. 9/10 MT. Do you agree with Matteo? Or was the three piece's first effort better? Comment below...

Reviewer Reviews...Breton-Other People's Problems-A Music Review

Not asbos

Now I'll freely admit that I only discovered South London outfit Breton because they shared their name with the inhabitants of Brittany, France; where I regularly go on holiday(12 years in a row, as a matter of fact).

But now, when I hear Breton I don't think of rainy holidays in Northern France, but Roman Rappack's exciting young band.

And the critcs agree. NME say that the 'Future is exciting if Breton are involved'. The Guardian says, 'If Breton can relocate the inspiration that produced it, they'll be here for the long run'.

I too feel the same way about the hooded band. They describe themselves as an 'Art Collective', mainly because the band was set up to provide music for their arty videos(check out their great music videos here-http://www.youtube.com/user/bretonLABS).

And the band use anything and everything to improve their sound-from power tools to someone chowing down. But it has worked. They have managed to pull off the raw, drawled sound, and it sounds very good on tape.

Who do they sound like? Well, that's another benefit of this great album. It's diversity. Tracks like Jostle could be mistaken for a Friendly Fires track. Governing Correctly is distincly like that of an early Metronomy. And Ghost Note would be the best ever Kasabian song-should Kasabian have written it. But consistanly, Roman Rappack's voice sounds like Yannis Philippak of Foals, which is obviously a great thing.

However, the track which makes this band is Edward The Confessor-a menacing track which makes this band and the record.

It deseveres it's 10/10

Download: Edward the Confessor, Interference and Jostle

Do you think Breton are just too pretensious? Or are they worthy of a ten? Leave your comments below.

Rabies.

Reviewer Reviews...Lady Gaga- Born This Way-A Music Review

 Is there much point introducing her? We all know who she is; her strange music videos, her 'love everyone' ethics, akin to previous LGBT superstars (cough, cough Madonna). So, instead of talking about the album as a whole, I'm going to review this track by track:


Marry The Night- One of the best songs on the album. Cool, confident and with one of the weirdest bridges on a song I've heard.

Born This Way-We all know this one, since everyone has been humming it since May. It smacks of 80's dance but is wondrous and yet shameless in its feel-good factor.

Government Hooker- Occasional hits of Gwen Stefani's Rich Girl are echoed in this, this being one of the more strange songs on the album. Dancey, but the blatant Marilyn Monroe references are painful.


Americano- A throwback to Latin American, Gaga's Spanish warbling is great, but after 10 'a-a-a-a-aa's, it wears a little thin.

Judas- Frustrating R and B verses are bearable for the wonderful chorus, and the added chants of 'Judas' are magnificent.

Hair- Simply the best song on the album. With self affirming lyrics, jazz undertones and the best bass drop of the year, it is simply the perfect pop song.

Scheiße- Fake German singing proves for, again, one of the more obscure songs on the album. Weird, but intriguing.

Bloody Mary- A simply excellent song. A wonderful chorus, the best lyricism on the album and yells of Gaga in the background makes for a great song.

Bad Kids- We hear Bruce Springsteen when we hear this rock ballad. Sometimes it can be silly but it is clever and enjoyable.

Highway Unicorn- An awkward display of synth and bass, this is an example of when Gaga's self confidence gets the better of her. Messy, but well intentioned.

Heavy Metal Lover- Again, awkward but better than Highway Unicorn. Too weird for its own good and some simply painful first lyrics. Interesting.

Electric Chapel- After 2 average songs, we ger a great, dancey disco hit. This guitar improv solo is rock at its finest.

Yoü and I-No Speechless wonder to be found on this album, but we do get a great old school dance record. Wonderful.

The Edge of Glory- One of the more average dance songs, it's one of those 'lyrics saved me' singles. Good music, but the lyrics are better.

9/10

Download-Hair, Marry the Night, Bloody Mary

MT

Do you agree with Matteo that the album's best songs are Marry The Night and Bloody Mary? Or is Born This Way better? Comment below...

Reviewer Reviews...Alt-J- An Awesome Wave-A Music Review

After last year's Vaccine success, expectedly, here comes a wave of similarly themed indie groups, just waiting to steal the limelight. But halt! This could not be further from the Vaccines. Instead, we get the sheer marvel of An Awesome Wave. The best track is definately Matilda, which is smooth, calming, and ungodly catchy. The nice guitar seams effortlessly with the lead singers voice, a marriage made in heaven. However, like The Vaccines debut, the album get extremely samey after a short while and some of the lyrics surpass simplicity and are occasionally plain lazy. (Sample lyric: Please don't go, I love you so x4, groan) Verdict? A mixed bag, with a few brilliant songs but it is all too redundant and it is undeniably bland. This brand of music is growing extremely tried. I don't want to do maths when listening to music!
6/10
Download: Matilda, Breezeblocks

MT

Do you agree that this album is overrated? Or is it a deserved Mercury prize winner? Comment below...

Reviewer Reviews...Crocodiles-Endless Flowers-A Music Review

I only discoved San Diego's Crocodiles earlier this week in Rough Trade East on Brick Lane, with my friend and fellow blogger Matteo. We both came with the intention of buying Totally Enourmous Extinct Dinosaur's album Trouble, but the Crocs impressed us so much we both bought their album Endless Flowers.

And the fuzz lovers didn't disappoint. Title track Endless Flowers soars, as does lead singer Brandon Welchez's voice, not entirely different from the equally great Vaccines track Norgaard. Other notable tracks include No Black Clouds For Dee Dee and Dark Alleys, both in The Vaccines mould, but with added fuzz. However, by the time you reach Bubblegum Trash, the blary bass will sound a little tired. For this reason, the album gets a 7/10


Download:Endless Flowers and Dark Alleys

Thanks for reading, Rabies

Reviewer Reviews...Volta-Bjork-A Music Review

If you know me, you know that I have a particular fondness for female pop vocalists, be it the beautiful vocal of Lady Gaga or Beyonce, or, God forbid, the brilliant but horrible whiny auto tuned drivel people like Ke$ha or Fergie release. And for me, Bjork is no exception. Starting her music career with the wonderful punk-y Sugarcubes who had some minor hits in the early nineties, Bjork branched off and has enjoyed success ever since, be it as an actress in the heartbreaking Dancer In The Dark, a wonderful vocalist in all her nineties albums, or in Matthew Barney's utterly up-itself Drawing Restraint 9. Yes, Bjork is brilliant at a lot of things, and her talents are on full form in her 2007 effort, Volta. From the opening, defiant, and almost abrasive song, Earth Intruders, we can understand that this is no longer the beautiful soprano, this is the furious, completely pissed-off Bjork, ready to batter anyone in her way, not entirely different from M.I.A.'s later effort The Message. Not to say there aren't moments of beauty. The whimsical tone of Wanderlust is only to be matched by the stunning, American Pie-esque The dull Flame of Desire. Clocking in at nearly 8 minutes, with moments of unscrupulous beauty. Similar is the not-so-long but equally lovely Pneumonia (there's two word I never thought I'd see in the same sentance), not to beaten by the best song on the album, Declare Independence. Written as a ballad for Greenland and the Faroe Islands, this hip house fist pumper is similar in style and quality to the brilliant Born Free. As a simple club banger, it's as good as it gets. This is a satisfying album and while not all songs work (Hope can be rather tedious) it is still always good from our favourite Icelandic vocalist (sorry Sigur Ros) Bjork.

8/10

MT

Are you a Bjork fan or do you prefer female singers like M.I.A.? And do you think that Sigur Ros are better than Bjork? Who is the best Icelandic music makers?